i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
