In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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