Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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