Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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