A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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