At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
