Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
