Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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