Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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