i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
