Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My cat gives me a boner
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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