Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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