Please don't use social media to get back at me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
