That's intense
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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