I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
there is glitter all over my balls
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