How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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