Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
organizing the empties. That sober.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
