I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
