Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
