I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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