On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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