It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
