marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
