It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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