I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
