we have officially mastered the walk of shame
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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