did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize