just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ttyl tear gas
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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