i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You made out with two different species that night
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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