Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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