I just pynch a tree in the face
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
