Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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