The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
