what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
