The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
