And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
