So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
