On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
