just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
