That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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