At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
