i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
