So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
