Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
