he thought i was a dude.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
