Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
