Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
