I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
