i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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