How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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