i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
