You're completely useless in the revolution.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
